Paolo Sebastian f/w 2018-2019 couture
I’ve now completely fallen in love. ❤️
the queen’s gambit is a chess opening that starts with the move d4/d5/c4…
THE QUEEN’S GAMBIT (2020) | dir. Scott Frank
So, I haven’t been on this blog for a very long time! But I think I’ll dip in again, just for old time sake.
Last year was a train wreck and only God knows how badly I fucked up. It was a massive shit show…! But since that time, after going through a break up, being let go of my job, losing my closest (or so I thought) friends, moving my shit back to my home and being my worst self that I couldn’t imagine until it happened, I feel like I’m starting to learn what it means to be a person, and what it means to be respected and to respect others.
Last year up to now, has been hard and it was a complete wake up call but I want to share what I’ve done. It’s still a big working progress but I want to keep working without thinking about the goal, y'know - looking at the process and growing from that rather than looking at where I want to be at the end. So here goes:
- I have saved up some money and stopped going into my overdraft. Last year and the years before that, whilst in my last relationship, I would spend money like there was no tomorrow and borrow from my ex partner. I would buy things I couldn’t afford and I learnt my lesson by paying the money back that I borrowed including a holiday to Japan. No, I didn’t go because we broke up, but since then, no over draft, better credit score and money to do things that are more important.
- I found myself another job and worked my ass off until they had to make redundancies. Yes, I am in that boat and I worked my ass off to get another job BUT that’s exactly it - I worked my ass off to be better career wise. I feel like it paid off because my skills are better and with the money I save, I can upskill and concentrate on what I want.
- I found someone by a chance opportunity who I appreciate, and has taught me about respect without being rude, crassness or taking sides. I spent the weekend and bank holiday with someone that has made me feel loved and continues to do that whilst showing support for my growth as a better person. They want me to succeed and understand that I’m still having a hard time adjusting to this new normal of what it really means to support yourself when no one is in your corner. They try so hard everyday to understand so they can help and I couldn’t ask for more. Also, I got a lot of cuddles and kisses.
That is all for now. Hopefully, my growth as a better person will keep going. Also, tomorrow is September, how time flies!
X
